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Pinklitva's Disturbing Dilemma

Tue Jul 17, 2007 Miss Vicky 

Miss Vicky received a disturbing note from her dear friend Miss Pink, known as pinklitva here at Miss Vicky's Offhand Remarks. It speaks for itself:

Dear Miss Vicky

I have invasive breast cancer and have to have a radical mastectomy this Friday. Can you advise me on what is the most appropriate thing to wear apres mastectomie?

Also, is it inappropriate to bring refreshments, such as rose wine, to serve to one's visitors whilst in hospital? Do you have any other suggestions of things to serve? What would the Brigadier Generals wife do in such a situation?

Miss Pink


Miss Pink, I am not entirely sure what to say. I spent the better part of the morning wanting to throw things out the window (I held back... the house is clean and I want to keep it that way for a little while, at least. Especially now that Gordie is crawling. But in my heart and mind I was picking up large, breakable objects and hurling them through panes of glass to the echinacea garden below). This really, really sucks.

The good news, if there can be such a thing, is that I am confident that you will approach this challenge like any other - with good humour and a "#*@%-you" attitude. You won't take any more guff from cancer than you would from anyone else, right? Right?

And I trust you have already stocked up on Audre Lorde and Barbara Ehrenreich to provide you with a little ass-kicking inspiration. Hell, you may have already integrated this diagnosis into your research plan, you little health geographer you.

As for your dilemma, Miss Pink, some mastectomy patients have been known to throw their breast(s) a going-away party. Given the short timeline, you may want to do yours after the fact.... I don't think the hospital would approve of pot luck (nor would the Brigadier's wife!). If you want to go with the "pink" theme for beverages, perhaps Kir Royale? Or a Cosmopolitan? Strawberry Milkshakes for the kidlings? Although given the circumstances, Miss Vicky would probably prefer a good belt of a peaty Islay single malt. in fact, she just might pick some this weekend to toast her dear friend from afar.

As for food, perhaps you'd like to have a little fun, like Cancer Bitch did with her party - round mounds of dip topped with an olive nipple, and so on. Miss Vicky's suggestions: some nice truffles: dark chocolate tipped with white, white chocolate tipped with dark... Those iced white cookies with the maraschino bit in the centre... Nice fluffy meringues with the tip dipped in pink icing.... Sliced tomatoes topped with a bocconcini ball on a bed of basil... There are some nice cupcakes on the banner of DIY not dieblog (which, I must add, has some great commentary, links and resources).

As for the après-surgery fashion quandary, well, only you can decide whether you want to go "amazon," find a prosthesis, go for reconstructive surgery. I get the impression that everyone deals with it differently. I did run into a couple of interesting things on the 'net, though - Rebel 1 in 8's post-mastectomy clothing is pretty fantastic (she even fashioned herself a one-cup bra after discovering they weren't on the market). And I also liked these knitted numbers. To hell with silicone! Give Miss Pink cashmere!

And here I was feeling all sorry for myself because my thyroid's gone bonkers again. I wish I was there to help you through this, bring you Kir Royales and meringues, hang out with your kidlings and generally do what I could. Damned Atlantic.

Some people were moved to reply

liss76 Jul 17, 2007 10:04 PM said:

[[hugs]] Good wishes being sent her way.

Someone could hold a party for her and raise some $$ for research:

http://www.kitchenaid-cookfort hecure.ca/

Just so you know, the Tit Bits lady has a website:

http://www.titbits.ca/

kellyb Jul 18, 2007 09:20 AM said:

Miss Pink, sending you good wishes.Whilst in hospital, you are more 'guest of honour' than host, and should be on the receiving end of hospitality. Friends, might I suggest such things as packets of tea, hot cocoa, toffees, hard candy, gum; things that can be kept at the bedside without spoiling.

Richgold Jul 18, 2007 09:25 AM said:

Friends could also bring some cheap and tawdry magazines to amuse and distract, like People magazine.

My thoughts and wishes for quick healing are with you this Friday.

Miss Vicky Jul 18, 2007 09:28 AM said:

I am confident Miss Pink would appreciate chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

Big Bob Jul 18, 2007 09:48 AM said:

Dang, bladder cancer is SO much less aesthetically pleasing than breast cancer. Can't imagine what someone would have done for me (of course, I spent the weekend before my cancer surgery last year "supplementing the anesthesia", shall we say?) that wouldn't be either utterly gross or obscene, or both.

My thoughts are with Miss Pink, and I hope for a complete recovery for her. I also think that, judging by her attitude in her letter to you, she needs to take that kick-ass attitude with her ALL. THE. WAY. Very good friends of ours began facing this 10 years ago, and they came to the conclusion that one "gets busy living, or gets busy dying". They chose living. Your friend should too.

pinklitva Jul 18, 2007 10:15 AM said:

thanks everybody.

I think i would like a cashmere knitted titty. It would suit me to a 'T' (for titty-less).

Maybe I could get a matching chapeau knitted for when i lose my hair from the chemo!


liss76 Jul 18, 2007 04:10 PM said:

Provide us your head measurements, in case some of us wacky knitters get inspired! ;)

Best wishes.

The Webgeek Jul 18, 2007 04:15 PM said:

won't you need a breast size too?

... just saying.

liss76 Jul 18, 2007 08:33 PM said:

Well, I only took a quick look at the pattern but I think it's beyond my limited abilities. ;)

Miss Vicky Jul 18, 2007 09:50 PM said:

they are available for purchase, thankfully!

Richgold Jul 20, 2007 10:02 AM said:

Some one could start a bra-fitting party at Brachic.

pinklitva Jul 25, 2007 12:05 PM said:

just to let you all know that i have escaped from the hospital and am doing well. All went as planned and i will have six week until the chemo starts.

I lost 6 lbs of breast! Imagine that....

pinklitva Jul 25, 2007 12:12 PM said:

PS

I served croissants, pink wine, chocolate biscuites, fresh orange juice and on one night, we robbed the dinner ladies trolley so i served ice cream.

recommended gifts for people in hospital....

1. if you are going to bring flowers, get the ones that come in a vase. They are most appreciated.

2. boxes of deluxe chocolate biscuits so you can bribe the nurses into your room and to give you your medication first.

3. warm bed socks

4. a ham sandwich. I found the food seriously lacking.

5. new nail varnish and matching lippy. what colour? Red.

6. Fresh fruit salad. Again food lacked fibre and all that codeine! Oy vey.

7. Take all labels off things and loosen lids for your invalid. Apres mastocomie your arm is pretty much knackered for a while.

8. Wine! Wine! and more Wine!

Miss Vicky Jul 25, 2007 02:03 PM said:

Welcome back, pinklitva. I'm glad you're doing well.

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